My thoughts rush trough my mind. How can I verbalise and put down in words what lies just beyond my reach? My trip to Malawi has been so full of contrasts. Malawi is called “the warm heart of Africa”, I would say that you in Malawi can find all the feelings and thoughts that is typical to all humans, not only a warm heart. I have seen hope and hopelessness, joy, happiness and sorrow, materialistic shallowness and philosophical depths, understanding, loyalty and helpfulness, egoism, lies, bigotry and narrow-minded people. I’ve seen some of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen but also some of the most horrible. I’ve seen poverty and luxury, clean and filthy, eagerness and indifference. I will not ever in my life fully grasp it all. I’m grateful for that. It means that I will never know everything, I hope that never, ever will. I want to be surprised, blown away and filled up with new insights, both wonderful and devastating.

I’m so glad that I went there. I’m so glad that I came to visit you Maria. I’m so proud of you and what you’re doing. I’m impressed by your patience when you need it, by your efficiency, by your professionalism and compassion. I now know what the hospital smells like, I know what the corridors look like, I know where you by your Fanta and I wait with excitement for the travellers guide “100 ways to open a Fanta”! So, what have we done besides been to the hospital? We found out that I was anaemic, that was a surprise...not!

First we went to Lilongwe and met these two wonderful guys, Jelmer and GJ and had a lovely time, talking, laughing, great guys really! And we can’t forget Drooley (the dog).  After that we went to the beach, to Senga Bay by Salima, to Safari Beach Lodge (everyone needs to come here!). We took the bus to Salima and rented a truck from there out to Senga Bay. The bus trip was hot as hell and the driver played music so fucking loud I seriously thought that my head was going to explode! But...it was totally worth it =)!  We had a wonderful weekend! Bathing, some canoeing, snorkelling, watching sunsets, lying in the sand in the dark watching the stars and “The Belgium Highway”, monkeys in the trees, birds by the pool, trees covered by flowers, lizards glistening of every colour of the rainbow, a beach with black sand, proud fisheagles and making new friends.

After a couple of days back in Nkhoma, days filled with hospitalduty, a visit out to a village close by, dinnergatherings, wonderful people and a visit to a local school we went off again. This time headed for Liwonde National Park and Zomba Plateau! The night in some slumarea of Liwonde was...yes, awful but....once again, so totally worth it! We left early from that hideous motel and took a minibus to...Olongwe (not sure about how you spell that). One thing is for sure, I WONT miss the smell of sweat and dried fish...At least not yet, maybe when I start to get desperate I will miss that aswell ;). The bicycletaxi in to the National park was an experience! I loved it! So cool! Our drivers became somewhat nervous when we entered the park...elephants close by! So fucking cool! Matthews or Mr Wilderness, one of the guides picked us up by boat and took us to camp (very luxurious camp). Tom made us breakfast although it actually was too late for that. He was so, so sweet! That was probably one of the best meals ever! Matthews and Patrick took us for a gamedrive in the Rhinosanctuary where we among other things saw a very dead elephant! The gamedrive in the afternoon and evening was wonderful, the animals, the nature, the sunset, once again I’m hung up on the stars, the sunsets and the moon. One of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen was when Matthews turned of the car and the lights, it was completely dark and the fireflies glistened in the grass and the heavens were filled with stars...it was extraordinary.  I felt at peace with the world and with myself. Filled with the wonder of how beautiful the world can be. Once again...maybe you need the contrasts to really appreciate what you see and what you experience? I think so.

There is so much to tell. We went up to Zomba, smelled almost like Sweden. All green and covered with forests. Pine and palms together, some of the most delicious berries I’ve tasted and wonderful views! We went for a ride, yes, on horses, only for an hour but...oh my! That place is so beautiful! After all this we went back to Nkhoma again. For me it was time to pack. I could hardly believe it! I had just arrived? I felt the panic rise. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to return to Sweden. I wanted to stay there, in the sun, see the rains that’s coming soon, sitting by the lake and watch the thunder and se how everything explodes from water and warmth and becomes green...Any way...I donated some blood before we went in to Lilongwe on Monday. One of all my "husbands", James stuck a needle in my vein and draind me for 450ml in five minutes, that was...an experince. Maria bought me some Fanta from the Fantaguys outside the hospital ( who , she tells me have proposed to me aswell, I've recieved a bunch of proposals and have now organized so that you all will have to apply and stand in line I'm afraid. Interviews will be held, so prepare!). I said goobye to Wilfred and Olivia, Spot and Sprut... I bought some coffee and spirits at Shoprite and some stuff at the woodmarket in Lilongwe. We went to Jelmer and GJ again to spend the night at their house, easier to get to the airport from there. We had the most amazing night! We went off to this local bar, it was filled with these awesome people, playing music, singing, talking...wonderful really! I really, really, really didn’t want to leave the next day. We filled the night with emotional and philosophical questions and conversations. I loved it. I still love it. The departure felt so unnecessary. I’ve made some wonderful new friends here. Malawi can rest assure that this one will come back!

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